Between Ezra Miller’s off-screen antics and the aura of apathy that has infused DC Studios’ offerings in the build up to the new DCU: Chapter One – Gods And Monsters, enthusiasm for The Flash is next to nothing. Beyond the controversy surrounding the star, most comic readers find the 2011 Flashpoint comic that inspired the movie overrated. It has also already been adapted twice before, in animation and on The Flash TV show. But ignoring those issues, how does The Flash run on its own?

It doesn’t.

The movie slowly introduces us to speedster superhero Barry Allen (Ezra Miller) who is feeling put upon by his Justice League allies. Beyond the insult of being third on the list of people to call when Batman needs backup, he is loathed by his co-workers in his day job and continually in trouble with his boss. When Barry’s latest effort to prove his father innocent of murdering his mother fails, Barry runs back in time to try and prevent his mother’s death. He does this, despite the objections of Batman (Ben Affleck), who points out that screwing with causality can only cause trouble.

True enough, Barry emerges in an alternate timeline where his mother is alive and his 18 year old self (Ezra Miller in a wig) is confident enough to talk to girls. This would be a good thing, except, because of the Butterfly Effect, there is also no Superman, no Aquaman, a different Batman (Michael Keaton) and… well, it never is explained just where Wonder Woman is in all this. To save this world and get back to his own, Barry must train his younger self in using his powers, rescue a new Supergirl (Sasha Calle) from a Russian prison and get Batman back in the game in time to stop General Zod (Michael Shannon) from destroying the Earth.

Those fans of the Snyderverse hoping for a continuation of his four-hour Justice League will be sorely disappointed. The script by Birds of Prey screenwriter Christina Hodson (based on a story by King Arthur: Legend of the Sword writer Joby Harold) favors broad comedy over high adventure. Under the direction of Andy Muschietti, the final effect is a theatrical chimera, which mixes the worst elements of Richard Lester’s Superman movies and the average Michael Bay film.

The best example of this is the opening action sequence, in which The Flash is tasked with evacuating a collapsing maternity ward and juggling multiple babies, a rescue dog and a screaming nurse in freefall. In the middle of this, Barry temporarily places one baby inside a microwave – an image that once resulted in an entire comic being pulped. Beyond being tasteless given the child endangerment charges Miller is facing, the CGI babies are more poorly rendered than the ones in Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2 and American Sniper.

Bad CGI is a continual problem throughout The Flash, with the effects used to convey time travel appearing to have been lifted from a computer graphics collage maker from 2005. There’s also some dodgy CGI used to put Miller’s face on the body of the stand-in playing his second self. You’d think WB Discovery would have learned their lesson after the fiasco with Superman’s upper lip in Joss Whedon’s Justice League, but, alas, they did not.

Despite this, the movie is not entirely without merit. Michael Keaton is as engaging as ever and has all the best lines in the movie. Sasha Calle is a fantastic Supergirl, playing the angry Kara Zor-El of the comics rather than the earnest Kara Danvers of the Arrowverse. Sadly, she’s barely in the movie, and apart from a few action sequences, is only there to be fridged so Barry can have one more thing to feel guilty about.

Ultimately, the film’s biggest problem is that it is entirely dependent on Ezra Miller’s charisma to function. That would have been a dicey prospect even without the outside issues, given the DCEU version of Barry Allen is an awkward loser and kind of a creep, far closer in characterization to Peter Parker than the Barry Allen of the comics. The movie tries to give him a love interest in the form of reporter and former classmate Iris West (Kiersey Clemons) but she appears in only three scenes and has no personality or purpose other than being an object for Barry to lust after.

In the end, The Flash is frankly forgettable and ironically slow-paced for a movie about the Fastest Man Alive. It seems likely this movie it will race to the Max streaming service and may swiftly sweep the 2024 Razzies. If nothing else, Ezra Miller and Ezra Miller are a shoe-in for Worst Screen Couple.

The Flash arrives in theaters on June 16, 2023.